From the East Wing, And the Weiner Is, Trick or Treating with the Toto Volunteers

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.

 

As darkness falls on this Halloween Eve, a melancholy wave of suspense settles over the EastWing. I don’t know why, but a strong sense of foreboding now floods my soul. I do expect significant history to be made in the next five days. I do not expect such history to reflect our most finest hour as the nation who should be leading the free world.

 

WOW! A week ago we decided that all we had to say about the upcoming election had been said. And so our thoughts turned to other things. Then along came Anthony Weiner.

 

Just when everyone thought this election cycle could not get any more crazier, it got more crazier. One of the things I find interesting here is that  a few years ago,  Anthony Wiener was a nationally recognized prominent democrat leader in line to possibly be speaker of the house or even a  presidential candidate. Then along came Carlos Danger.

 

Donald Trump saw this coming from a mile away. He fingered Weiner as a potential national security threat all the way back in August of 2015. Trump said he didn’t like the thought of Huma going home at night and telling Anthony Weiner all of these secrets. When it came out that Huma Abedin knows all about Hillary’s private illegal emails, Trump wrote on Twitter. “Huma’s PR husband, Anthony Weiner, will tell the world.”

 

One of the things worth watching here is how the President of the United States handles campaigning for a person under criminal investigation by the FBI while running for the office of President. Of course we all know how honest and truthful President Obama has been with the American People.

 

And so today the memories of Halloweens past rushed from the back roads of my memory into the bright sunshine of a crisp beautiful Autumn Halloween Eve 2016 with thoughts of Halloween High Jinks, Ghosts and Goblins, Dark Nights and life among my Band of Brothers. We were The Toto Volunteers.

 

The biggest holiday, hands down, in Downtown Toto when I was a kid was Halloween.  Now ya had the other important stuff like Easter, 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Jefferson Davis’s Birthday (some habits were hard to turn loose)  but none of these holidays came close to Halloween.

 

It was the time of independence from family, the time to test your courage,  to face your fears of the nighttime  knowing things were out there and not knowing who what or where. A time to be both horrified and happy in the same heartbeat.  A time to scare little sisters. A time to step into the shadow of the valley and fear evil.  A time to march, to prowl the darkness in the company of the band of brothers, the Toto Volunteers.

 

The Halloween Bounty seemed unlimited, so much so that we, the Toto Volunteers,  never made any attempt to control its access.  We could have, we chose not to. Toto could have become the model Trick or Treat Community for the National Standard of Trick  or Treat, had we choose to make it so. We could have, we chose not to.

 

The reason for such actions on the part of the Volunteers is as valid today as when the  Council deliberated on that very issue.  There was a fraction within the ranks who wanted to do to Halloween what we had been so successful in our summer campaign.  Just the summer past, we had collected more pop bottles then most of the army thought existed in the world.  We’d won the Pop Bottle Wars of Toto.

 

The issue of the Halloween Candy was brought to the  War Council not by inexperienced people with no knowledge of war, but from people seasoned by fire on the front lines of the Pop Bottle Wars.  People who were even  as old as 11 and one even held the rank of sergeant.

 

Now in the Toto Volunteers we had a little different ranking system than the regular army.  Ours was more simple.  I got to be the General, there were two sergeants, and everybody else got to be a private.  That way we didn’t have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out who was in charge. Besides, we didn’t have different uniforms so it was a lot easier to just remember a few to salute, otherwise everybody would be saluting each other all day long for nothing.

 

The Halloween Options as they would become know to the Volunteers were quite simple, two different options. The first option being the Toto Volunteers go Trick or Treating the night before the real Halloween and then go again the next night, that way everybody gets twice as much stuff.  The second option would be for the Volunteers to just charge everybody Trick or Treating in Toto, and not a member of the Volunteers, a nickel. It was just two weeks till Halloween and the council wanted to make a decision right there, but I told ‘em the decision  was too important, it’d have to wait for a while. I had to think this one out.

 

One of the things I learned by being the General of the Toto Volunteers was when I didn’t know what to do, I could always ask my dad. “Cause he was a Preacher, and he’d never tell my something to do that was not in the Bible, ‘cause he read the bible a lot more than I did.  I’d act like I was just a little kid asking a dumb question, not like the general  seeking consultation on an issue of possible war. When I talked to my dad about such important matters we usually done our man to boy talks on the porch swing, even in late October man to boy talks worked better in the swing.

 

As we sat swinging I said “Did ya ever go trick or treating?” My dad said “Yep” “Did ya ever go trick or treating the day before Halloween?” My dad said “Nope” I said “why not?” My dad said “Did ya ever have a birthday party a day before your birthday? Could ya have the 4th of July Picnic the day before? What would happen to Christmas if ya didn’t have the 25th of December, not the 24th but the 25th?” I was starting to see my dad’s point of view on this issue of trick or treating one day early as we swung together on the front porch in the crisp autumn air just nine days before Halloween.

 

I said “Ya think a person could make somebody pay to go trick or treating”  My dad said “Not in Toto, cause everybody that tricks or treats in Toto don’t have any money to start with, and besides who would be dumb enough to even try to get somebody to pay to go trick or treating?” I didn’t say nothing. One of the good things about talking with my dad in that swing was he didn’t make me say anything if I didn’t want to, and right then I didn’t want to.

 

So there is was.  Ya can’t go the night before ‘cause that’s dumb,  and nobody’s got any money and if ya even ask someone to pay that’s  dumb too.  My dad imparted a great deal of wisdom from the confines of that swing.  He made my job of being the general a lot easier on more than one occasion.

 

Well, I had my answers now I only had to deal with the Toto Volunteers. I spent most of that night trying to figure out a way to get the War Council on my side. I knew what I had to do but wanted the them to tell me, not me tell them.  Somewhere in the darkness,  about the time today turned into tomorrow and became yesterday I finally figured a way to present my views to the Council.  The next day I called an after school meeting of the War Council of the Toto Volunteers.  We met on my front porch.

 

Now one of the downside products of victory on the battle field is the overwhelming desire to repeat the same feat over and over again.  I was not about to let that happen to the Toto Volunteers.  As soon as everybody was present I presented my plan.  The plan was simple.  I couldn’t choose which one I liked best so we would do ‘em both.

 

But for the trick or treat the night before Halloween we’d all have to have get our moms to sign a letter saying we could go out after dark just in case someone wanted to know why we were there at their house a night early for trick or treat, so we could tell ‘em our moms said we could come trick or treating early. Also everyone had to ask their mom if she thought it would be ok to charge people for trick or treating in Toto.

 

I had printed out a letter to give every member.  Because I ran the mimeograph machine at California Township School I ran off copies of the letter.  I had printed it on a stencil and it looked really professional.  As the volunteers read the letter, ya could still smell the mimeograph ink, it was the blue kind.  I could tell by their looks that they were gona have a hard time getting their mom to sign that letter.  I know I sure wouldn’t ask my mom to sign that letter.

 

One kid said “my mom’ll  kill me if she sees this letter, I’m not gona take it home”.   He brought his letter back and reached it to me saying “let’s just go regular trick or treating”.  Some of the others thought we could still do both options.  My faith was in the letter.

 

The next morning at the bus stop not a single volunteer who took the letter home wanted to talk about it.  One guy said “I might not even want to go trick or treating this year, I don’t know if I do or not. I’ll just have to wait till Halloween an see”.  The plan was working. Two days later the War Council of the Toto Volunteers made a decision to do regular trick or treating in Toto and to make sure nobody would ever do anything except regular trick or treating in Toto forever in the future.

 

We, the Toto Volunteers, took a solemn  oath to forever protect the unbridled right to trick or treat in Toto Indiana on Halloween without interference from anybody forever and ever.  That right to trick or treat in Toto has been protected to this day.

 

And then came the politicians, regulating trick or treat hours. I think it was a republican thing first, probably too damn tight to buy candy for little kids.  Then the democrats jumped on the band wagon, probably with a bribe of some sort from the republicans.  A pox on both their houses, to even think ya can regulate Halloween.

 

Next thing ya gonna hear is some smart ass in Washington will propose to make Halloween a federal holiday and place on the last Monday in October, in order to bring it in line with the other fake Monday Federal Holidays. It wouldn’t surprise me if Obama tries to move Easter to the day after.  Easter Monday doesn’t have a good sound to it, but one less work day for the democrats.

 

Now towns announce the time to go trick or treating. Trick or treating at 3:00 PM is like kissing your sister at high noon in a public park, it’s just not that much fun.  The question that comes to mind is what ya gonna do if some little monster tricks or treats before or after the set deadlines?

 

Now if ya shoot ‘em all ya get the guilty. The next thing you know it’s a  Halloween Czar from Obama.

 

From the  East Wing, And the Weiner Is,  Trick or Treating with the Toto Volunteers

I wish you well,

BobbyRay