Flipping Bugs, Springtime Blooming, Bottled Water, Gadget TV & Green Frying Pans

Greeting to all and welcome to new friends to the EastWing

Flipping Lady Like Bugs into space is playing hockey in the bug world. Every time I flip one of those little fellers into the unknown abyss, I can’t help but wonder if I did the right thing, yet I flip ‘em off , and it brings a whole new meaning to flipping ‘em off.

Did ya ever think you’d see a time when people would pay to drink bottled water? I’m telling ya, paying for drinking bottled water, SHEWWWW. And much of it is coming right out of tap water from whatever source is doing the bottling process. And to make matters worse, much of that bottled water, that bottled water has an expiration date. Can you believe that? Water that expires. Damn, and I always thought water was good forever.

I think that’s part of ObamaCare, putting an expiration on water. Heard the other day that they’re gona limit how much water folks like me, on Medicare, can drink. That way we’ll just dry up and blow away, and that’ll hold down the cost of Medicare. Of course they won’t propose that until after President Obama is reelected. A few days ago you may have heard in the news the president telling the Russians that he’d have more flexibility after the upcoming election. It was that old folks and water limitation he was talking about with the Russians. They may be already using it, and the president just stole the idea and gona blame it on Bush.

An interesting fact about water is the total volume of water on this planet has never changed from the creation of water on the planet up to and including today. The three states of water, solid, liquid and gas, well they’re changing all the time, all over the world, yet the total worldwide volume of water never changes.

A few years ago my company was hired by a company in Rolling Prairie IN, a company engaged in the business of packaging your product. It mattered not what your product was, this company would figure out how to package your product the way you wanted it packaged. They just packaged your stuff, to your specs.

When I got involved with this company, they were in the process of packaging three products, water, shampoo and those little paper packs of sugar. Putting one into the plastic bottle and one into the plastic tube and one into that little paper bag. I’d never encountered automatic assembly line production in my life. WOW! Was I ever impressed. Machines that did everything in the whole world. I’m telling ya, they put the shampoo in the tube. It was like putting the toothpaste into the tube, except it was shampoo. I’d squeezed it out, but had never seen it put in to begin with. I’d opened the little bags of sugar, but never seen ‘em filled. I was impressed. The shampoo goes in from the bottom side, and I bet the toothpaste does too.

The water came to this company by the freight railroad car from the Catskill Mountains, the shampoo by 6 thousand gallon truck loads from I don’t know where, and the sugar, well the sugar came in 1,000 lb bags that had to be picked up by forklifts and hoisted up into position to dump into a vat that filled the machine that filled the little bags. Each one injected into the automatic assembly line process at the proper time. Bottles were filled and tubes were filled and little bags were filled and products were distributed to the end consumer in an amazingly complex assembly process. I stood in awe.

I’d never seen such automation in my life. And I’d been hired to make recommendations to improve the efficiently of this company. Shewwww. But being a hillbilly who could read, and not wanting to act like I didn’t know what I was talking about, I said “Oh sure, I can improve this overall operation”. As I silently prayed “Hail Mary full of grace……” Now my Catholic friends will get that humor, for my non Catholic friends, that Hail Mary part, well, it’s a most basic prayer in the Catholic Faith, I’m asking Mary, the Mother of God, to assist me at my time of need. And Lord knows at that time, I needed the assistance of Mother Mary.

So I went about analyzing this business, this business of packaging your stuff. The automated side of the operation was beyond my ability of improve upon. It was in the non automated part of the business that I looked to find areas weakness. The administrative and management side of the company allowed me to justify my consulting fees. I wrote the report.

I met with the owner, who had financed the business by the use of 38 credit cards, because no one in the money lending business would loan him money for his “hair brain” idea of creating a company to package your stuff. The owner was one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever know. He was a mechanical genius who could design and create a machine to do anything he could envision. All his machines were one of a kind from his mind to his production line, to finished product. Into the bottle or into the tube, or into any other package you wanted, it mattered not. However ya wanted it, he could design a machine to make it happen. Then build the thing himself. Push the button and start the assembly line. It always worked.

I made the initial presentation and recommendations to this owner. He bought my plans for his company in total, and gave me the green light to produce the details of implementation throughout his company. We would meet again in eight weeks and put my plan in place. In the mean time he had been hired by the US State Department to go to Iraq and set up an operation to bottle water for the troops in the desert. Much the same type operation as in Rolling Prairie IN. We were to meet the week after his return from the desert.

A week before his scheduled return from Iraq, this man went missing in the sands of Iraq. He never returned home. His whereabouts have remained completely unknown. The Federal Government, who had contracted his services, has remained silent on this matter to this very day. It was with massive credit card debt, and no income, his wife was forced into bankruptcy and all the while not a single clue as to the whereabouts of the man who bottled water. Such a brilliant mind lost forever. I can’t help but hope that somewhere in the desert sands of Iraq, he’s still bottling water with a “Rube Goldberg” type machine that’s doing all the work. Just cranking it out, bottling water somewhere near an oasis in desert.

Red Bud Trees bloom overnight. Freesia bushes bloom overnight. Tis the springtime for sure. The audio of the springtime night is turned on maximum volume. The Peeps, the bells of springtime are ringing loud. This year, 2012 will be forever remembered as the year that summer started early. Before winter ended, skipped spring all together and went right into summer. I love summer.

Are you a buyer of gadgets? Kitchen gadgets, I mean. Oh sure, I’ve bought ‘em all, or damn near all. The Juicer machine, the bread machine, counter top grill, electric can opener, perfect deviled eggs, hot doggers, and the list goes on and on.

I’m kinda an old school gadget buyer, we’re talking the Chopamatic, here. First introduced before color TV was in vogue. Not only not in vogue, was not yet available. I first used the Chopamatic to chop Spam into sandwich spread. Didn’t know it at the time, but Little Oscar had the same thing in a plastic tube marketed as “Sandwich Spread”. Guess Little Oscar must’ve bought the very first Chopamatic.

It looked so good on TV. They didn’t show ya the cleaning out part. What the hell! Almost impossible to get clean. 98 % stopped using the juicer before 3 times use. The same holds true for the Bread Machine. It looked so good on TV. And so ya bought it. It smelled so good for the first time. But ya just never got into the habit of buying the stuff to make it work, and so ya continue to by the bread in those little plastic bags.

Countertop Grills. Shewwww. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. And the battery can opener, well it just didn’t work out. Now don’t even get me started about those perfect deviled eggs. But I did just a week or so ago buy that 10’’ green frying pan that nothing sticks to and allows you to blow stuff out of the pan with just a little puff of air. And that egg swirls around like magic. I’m sure looking forward to that. I’ll let ya know ‘bout green frying pan.

Stay Safe in Afghanistan.

From The EastWing, Flipping Bugs, Springtime Blooming, Bottled Water, Gadget TV & Green Frying Pans

I wish you well,