From The EastWing, A Dark And Stormy Night, Repair Service By The Phone, A Time For s’mores.

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.


It was the Friday Evening starting the Labor Day Weekend that me and the She were driving home from a dinner out with #1 Son and Heather. Dinner at a top notch Mexican Restaurant in Merryville IN made for a fun evening.


While driving home from Demotte to the EastWing we were entertained by one of the more spectacular Indiana Summer Time Thunder Storms.  It was all Lightning at a distance, minimum thunder, and even less rain. An amazing light show from God.


The lighting was the star of the night sky. You seldom see three bolts of lightning in the sky at the same time. That night three and sometimes even four bolts of lightning at the same time in the sky was common. As the thunder rolled, the lightning walked the horizon as far as we could see, north to south, as far as we could see. There were several times where Mr. Lincolns automatic headlights were turned off by the extended brightness of the light show. In fact, I flipped the headlights to “manual” just to be on the save side.


All the way home, right up to the EastWing driveway the light show continued. It was when I walked into the EastWing that I knew something was amiss. A little piece of plastic was in the middle of the floor on the north side of the room.  I picked that little broken plastic piece and realized it used to be white was a part of the telephone jack from 24 ft away on the south side of the room.


Not knowing the extent of the telephone damage, but knowing the outside lightning show was truly a one of a kind change see. Also knowing that it would not be playing again anytime soon in my neighborhood, I choose to watch the show. So I turned off all the lights in the EastWing, sat back and continued to watch the magic. It was a good call.


After the storm passed it was time to survey the damage. The in house phone system was destroyed. Every wall jack exploded with such force that it broke the plastic cover into several pieces. The phone system consisted of one base unit and four other hand sets. The base unit blew up. The four hand sets were not plugged into the phone line so they appear to be ok.


The She’s favorite floor lamp’s base was touching a floor mounted phone jack. The electricity jumped into the metal lamp. I found the lamp bulb welded in place in the socket. The lamp cord melted inside the tube coming from the base up to the socket containing the bulb.


To add insult to injury, the satellite TV as well as the satellite internet service were both out. With that realization I knew it was going to be a long, long Labor Day Weekend. Not having repair numbers for the TV or internet service, I called Johnny on the She’s cell phone to have him get me those number.


First thing Saturday Morning I was on the phone to the satellite internet provider. After walking thru all the diagnostic steps again. The feller decided the modem had to be replaced. He said “Today there will be no shipping charge, you’ll only have to pay for the modem. It’s $175.99”. I said “No.” He said “After all sir, the modem failed from an act of God and surly you would not expect us to cover an act of God.” Now if the guy had said most anything except an act of God, maybe I’d have been more receptive to paying for the modem. He made me mad.


I told the ole boy right, “God didn’t have anything to do with your modem failure. He’s got more important things to do than worry about your cheap equipment failure. Consider this your company notice to cancel my internet service.  I don’t care to do business with any company dumb enough to call a failed modem an act of God.” Said he could not cancel my account but could transfer me to someone who could. Said he was sorry if he offended me. I told him that he didn’t offend me, but he should maybe spend a little quite time pondering what he said about the modem failure being an act of God. Said he would, and sent me on my way to those who could cancel my account.


She was an Indian Lady. Red Dot, not feather. Heavy accent, most difficult to understand. I told her right up, that I only wanted her to cancel my account as of right now. She begged me to explain why I so wanted to end the service. Told her the prior ole boy wanted me to pay $175.99 for a modem, and I could get the same service from another provider and they would provide me with a new modem.


Miss Calcutta pleaded for me to give her two minutes to put me on hold. I agreed. At 1 minute 42 seconds she returned with the news that she was sending me a new modem at no charge and to show the company’s good faith, she would next day air ship, all at no cost to me. All of a sudden I was liking doing business with these folks again. The modem arrived the following Tuesday.


The satellite TV company pretty much went the same rout as far as trying to diagnosis the issue. After all the protocol was followed, it was concluded that a company tech needed to come to my house to solve the problem. Then I was so surprised when the guy said “the tech will be there Monday Sept 1st.  And sure enough, ‘bout 1 o’clock or so the tech came and fixed the satellite TV. It was two down and one to go.


After getting off the phone with the satellite TV company the phone company, Century Link, was contacted. I finally was able to talk to a live person. Seems with the phone company, getting that accomplished is major victory.  I described in some detail the carnage which had occurred within my phone system at the EastWing.


The phone lady had all the sympathy of a bulldozer when she said “Sir I have no reason to doubt your word, but I must tell you that when the repair man comes out and determines that the problem is caused by customer origination there will be an $80.00 truck fee. I asked her what did the word origination mean. There was a measurable pause. I told her that I did know, was just joking. Then asked if the problem did not stem from customer origination did I get an Eighty Dollar credit on my phone bill. Again there was that measurable pause. The phone lady said the repair would be done on Tuesday, September 2nd. The night time came that Tuesday without me ever seeing that little repair truck. On Wednesday I called telephone repair to see if they needed directions to my house. They assured me that the phone would be fixed the very next day. Thursday night came and morning followed and still no telephone repair.


The Friday call to Century Link was not a pretty site. It got real interesting when the party on the other end of the phone asked that I put the receiver on the hook to allow her to see if she could call my number. We had words. Once after again explaining the extent of the equipment damage  at the EastWing, I was assured that the repair would be made at 3:00 PM. I was in the EastWing at 2:30 PM last Friday when the Century Link repair man knocked on my front door.


Without even looking at any of the damage, both outside and inside, he told me what he had to do. Replace all  boxes all the way from the road. The outside junction box, along with all wall plugs inside the house. When I asked how he knew before he even surveyed the damage. Said  he’d been repairing the very same damage on every call he’d been on since Tuesday Morning.


Very knowledgeable and most professional, that telephone repair man. Unlike the other contact with the phone company, this man not only knew how to repair my phone service, he also knew how to represent the phone company to the customers. He done both well.


And so now you know why we didn’t visit in the EastWing last Sunday.  It’s good to be back in circulation.  With all the things going on in the  world, both home and abroad you’d think the Obama Administration would have more important  issues to deal with other than the makeup of s’mores.  Seems that MRS. PRESIDENT MICHELLE, has attempted to extend her food control into things eaten at the National Park System.


Now for my friends not totally versed in the fine art of marshmallow roasting I’ll just say, roasted marshmallows and Hershey’s Chocolate  between two graham crackers. For many, it don’t get much better than that while setting around the campfire.


The Obama Administration has officially proposed that the Hershey Chocolate be replaced with fruit. Yes FRUIT ! Is that the dumbest thing you ever heard of  or what.


There are some things in life ya just don’t mess with. You don’t tinker with the Big Mac’s Special Sauce.  You don’t add a twelfth herb to the Colonel’s secret recipe.  You don’t tug on Superman’s Cape. And you for sure don’t take the chocolate out of s’mores.


Stay safe in Afghanistan.


From The EastWing, A Dark And Stormy Night, Repair Service By The Phone, A Time For s’mores.


I Wish You Well,