From The EastWing, Smelling Christmas, Many Gallons of Christmas Memories®, Comet Ison Died As K-Mart Opened For Business, The Law Of The Land, Fudgesicles Popsicles & Duct Tape Got Ya Covered

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.

Did you notice? Winter came by yesterday, and Christmas is so close ya can smell it.  And Lord knows I love the smell of Christmas. It’s pine, oranges, cinnamon, apples, bananas, tangerines, and gingerbread,  and all the other stuff that makes up the Christmas smells. I love the smell of Christmas. Christmas is the only holiday, where you both smell and fell. The other holidays, yeah, ya know they’re there. But Christmas you can feel it in your bones and smell it in your nose. It’s Christmas Memories.

Christmas Memories® is a simmering aromatic oil formulation I created more than 30 years ago.  My wife, the beautiful She, has over the years sold many, many gallons of my Christmas Memories® simmering aromatic oil, at her Pioneer Florist Country Store in North Judson IN. One once at a time, the She sold Christmas Memories®. Needles to say, the She loves my Christmas Memories®, and everybody knows I love the She. I think the She smells even better than my Christmas Memories, just saying.

The idea for Christmas Memories came to mind shortly after me and the She started operating the Pioneer Florist in North Judson IN a while back. Guess it was 1980 when me and the She became florists. At least the She became a florist, I just became a delivery boy. But oh well, I got to work beside the She every day, and loving it. That first Christmas at Pioneer Florist, while the She was working with the fresh pine, making Christmas arrangements, I remembered what Christmas smelled like at South Fork when I was a little hillbilly boy.

Having a fair amount of knowledge in chemistry, I decided to reproduce the smell of Christmas at South Fork. I turned to a chemical family of things called esters to try to see what I could cook. Now esters are things that  by themselves don’t smell, but when blended with other things, Wow! You can make magic happen.

It’s kinda hard to talk about esters if ya don’t know a lot about chemistry, but here at the EastWing we forever talk about stuff that’s hard to understand, yet we do so. Esters are things in nature that are naturally occurring fats and oils. You’ve heard of triglycerides, well that is the fatty acid esters of glycerol. Esters are created by condensing acid in alcohol. Esters with low molecular weight are used in fragrances and so I was able to use the pheromones of esters to create Christmas Memories®.

And interesting side line of Christmas Memories is, she’s a first cousin to nitroglycerin. Oh, I forgot to tell ya, Christmas Memories is a girl.  Don’t know why, just is. Yeah, I’m telling ya, Christmas Memories is a fist cousin to nitroglycerin. Just a little more “Hope and Change” and BOOM!  Not to worry about Christmas Memories, she’s  not gona blow up on ya. Even though a first cousin to nitroglycerin, a miss is as good as a mile. Christmas Memories is also a first cousin to the plastic garbage bag you use in your kitchen.  But don’t sell Christmas Memories  short. She’s also a first cousin to the very backbone of the DNA molecules. Christmas Memories, the girl walks in High Cotton.

After waiting a full year for comet Ison to become the brightest thing in the night sky, the ole boy burned up on the back side of the sun. I hate when that happens.  By the time the comet swung around the sun, there was nothing left except a big cloud of really hot dirt 730,000 miles from the surface of the sun. And a whole lot of disappointed stargazer here on Earth. The thing that makes a comet glow in the night sky, the ice part, had been vaporized on the back side of the sun. Without the ice, there is nothing to reflect the sunshine, and so we’re left with things that might have been. That could have been,

When first observed, over a year ago, Comet Ison was calculated to “maybe, just maybe” be the  most dramatic site in the Christmas Season Skies of 2013. All us stargazers types, we knew there was a real good possibility of not surviving the close encounter around the sun on November 28, 2013.  But we hopped, oh Lord how we all hopped.  We so hopped Comet Ison would survive the heat of the sun and the light show would turn on.  Ison didn’t  and  so the light show never started. Ison died about the same time the K-Mart Stores opened for business at 6:00 PM on the evening of Thanksgiving.   In the universe, it’s the laws of physics, not Bull Shit, like “Hope and Change”,  that prevail.

In order to survive the heat of the sun at 730,000 miles from the surface, Ison would have to have been at least twice times its actual size. Just to give you an idea of how hot we’re talking here. Should the Earth be exposed to such heat from the sun, the time it would take to burn the whole place to a lump of nothing, is a small fraction of one second. That fraction of a second can be expressed  as 1/1000,000,000 of 1 second. Now that’s quick in anybody’s book. It’s even faster than “set it and forget it”.


Scary times in South Africa when the American President stands in front of a man once charged with murder. And his body guards are not aware. Now I don’t know about you, but I knew within seconds that the dude standing behind the President  of The United States, that day, was not doing sign language. Had no idea what he was doing there, but knew he was not doing sign language.

I’m, for sure, not an expert in sign language. I did have a very good friend in collage and we talked. He learned to read my lips, I learned to read his signs. John Glendenning, a special friend of mine. We shared several chemistry labs together along with all the anatomy labs  1, 2, and 3. In fact, in the third level anatomy lab, John Glendenning and I were assigned the same dissection specimen. Ya learned a lot in the anatomy lab 3. Those were the days of constant amazement. Talk about waking up ready to go to work. Every day, I could hardly wait to get to that anatomy lab. Yes I did learn a lot in that anatomy lab with my friend John Glendenning.  I also learned to read the signs.

It’s freighting to think something like that could happen to the President. An unstable person is able to get within touch of the American President while the eyes of the world are upon ‘em.  And the people who are charged with protecting the life of the President of The United States know nothing about this fellow.  They assumed the South African Government had approved the person to do signing. The South African Government assumed the people guarding the American President  were in charge of security and had checked everybody out. The end result was, nobody was checked anybody. Scary times. Of course these are the same men who have, of late, made the news for their activity in other foreign countries. I’m being kind here by simply saying  their decorum in the past has been unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman.

It truly worries me that the American President is being protected by a bunch of people who appear not to have the best interest of the man in mind. While I totally disagree with the political positions of this president, his inability to provide national leadership is beyond question. His willingness as well as his ability to lie to the American People is also beyond question. And so as we arrive at the end of 2013, the American People now have less faith in the president than they had of his predecessor. A man this president  has blamed for everything that has gone wrong during the total time he has been president. Nothing has been this president’s fault. Also he just found about it, the same time we did. No matter, what it is. The same time we did. Shewwww.

That being said, I’ve not one second of my life wished ill will on the man. So maybe when you get a cushy job, like guarding the President of The United States, oh well, just party time on the American dime. I hope that’s not the case.  Yet we do know the partying has gone on, and on, and on. Guess those body guards were doing selfies of their own, but their selfies never made the national news like their boss’s did.

All though the EastWing Email continues to lambast the ObamaCare, I’m not gona bad mouth the federal law this close to Christmas. With that being said, I will share with you the latest information I’ve received concerning the ObamaCare and your health insurance provided by your employer.  Seems the part of the ObamaCare Law which Nancy Pelosi said we should pass in order to find out what’s in it,  contains very, very specific rules and regulations governing employer provided health insurance. Much of the who, what, when, where and how of the ObamaCare Law is just now bubbling up thru all the BS that was smothered on top the idea even before it was passed into law. Had we the people know then what we know now, public outrage would have swept our nation.

The section affecting employer provided health insurance was delayed for one year in the hope that it would take some of the steam out of the heat from this whole sorry mess. That didn’t happen, it’s getting hotter by the day. As millions of individuals lose their  health insurance, businesses have started the process of compliance with the mandate, the federal law of the land, on health insurance when provided by the employer.

It turns out that your employer is not required to tell you, the employee, when the company provided insurance has been “upgraded” and brought into compliance with the ObamaCare law. However there are several indicators you may want to look for if you suspect a change in your insurance coverage. There are several things you may want to check out for yourself. I’m addressing only the top 10 indicators here. There could well be many more to come down the pike. Or maybe up thru the poo, whichever way you want to smell  it.

The top ten indicators that employer may have upgraded your health insurance to be in compliance with The Obamacare Health Care Plan Standards:

  (10) All annual breast exam is done at Hooters, without an appointment, every day after 5:00 PM. 
  (9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park. 
  (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 
  (7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus, The Man” from Roto-Rooter. 
 (6) The single item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “An Apple A Day.” 
 (5) Your primary care physicians medical degree, hanging on the wall, appear to be Photo Shopped.
(4) The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges, yelp, that’s right, 200% and it’s on you. 
(3) The only medical expense that’s covered 100% is…”Embalming and Visitation.” 
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on every pill. 
(1) When you ask for Viagra you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape. 

Now I’m not saying these are all the rules, but after all, there’s a lot of reading still to be done.

Stay safe in Afghanistan.

From The EastWing, Smelling Christmas, Many Gallons of Christmas Memories®, Comet Ison Died As K-Mart Opened For Business, The Law Of The Land, Fudgesicles Popsicles & Duct Tape Got Ya Covered

I Wish You Well,