Greetings to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.
Halloween came and went, and once again all the news media warned everyone about the dangers of pins and needles inserted into Halloween Candy. Did anyone ever hear of anyone ever getting pin or needle inserted Halloween Candy? I’m not aware of any. Yet I’ve heard that warning most all my life.
Now back in the day, when we done heavy duty Trick or Treating in Downtown Toto, the thought never crossed our minds there could be something in the treats. And even if there was, it got eaten so fast it didn’t matter.
But I’ll tell ya something worse than pins and needles in the Halloween Candy. Those damn Popcorn Balls, that’s a lot worse. I hated those things. Now there was an old lady living in Toto at the time and every year when we knocked on her door, PLOP! Right on top of all the good stuff, landed a big sticky popcorn ball.
By the time you got home, everything inside the bag was stuck to the popcorn ball. I’d take the popcorn ball out and give it to my little Sister, Kaye, she’d eat anything. I’d also share half of the candy with Kaye. Guess Sister Kaye actually got more than half. She got half the candy plus the popcorn ball.
Now days in our society there is always someone more enlightened than the average folks like you and me. It’s these people who drive me crazy. They’re always “looking out for our best interest”. Yeah Right! Two days before Halloween I heard one such person talking on the radio pushing “alternative treats” for Halloween. She said our society has become too fat for her licking, and a way to gain control of this out of control population obesity is to insist on alternative treats of Halloween.
I’m hopping you’re setting down for this little jewel, ‘cause I’m not making this stuff up. Something this bizarre cannot be made up. It can only be born in the dark bowls of stupidity. FLASH CARDS. Yes, Flash Cards of math problems, or possibly flash cards for teaching music, or small personal LED Flash Lights as an alternative to the flash cards. Now I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the Popcorn Ball.
Sure seems like there’s a war on Halloween Candy. Did ya ever notice how many social culture wars we have going on at the moment? War on Poverty has spent more than a Trillion Dollars and the poverty level remains the same. War on Drugs, same money spent as war on poverty, now more drugs than ever. War on women, now I’m not even going to guess how much is spent on that one. But I do think the She contributes to that spending spree.
Another American classic coming under attack is football. Yep, football. At every level this game is under attack from both the same forces in our society who want to control Halloween Candy. Now if you think I’m joking, here’s the challenge. I predict that football as we now know it being played will vanish within two decades or less.
The first game of American football was played on November 6, 1869, between two college teams, Rutgers and Princeton. And the rest is history so to say. Professional football came along a bit later. It was 1892 when the first football game was played where someone was paid money to play the game. Now not everyone was paid, just one guy. But I bet the next game everyone shared in the bounty of what would become the largest of American sports.
It seems hard for me to understand how the people who play football and get the crap knocked out of them never put two and two together and decided this punishment is not good for my health, short term or long term.
And so an enlightened society will soon evolve into the communal agreement that football is bad for your health and needs to be changed to something more civilized. The game may change by regulation. The game may change by law. The game may just become too violent to show on TV. After all, we do know that violence has been removed from both the movies as well as TV.
Maybe football will evolve into a game comparable to Ring Around The Roses. Another possibility is something like the ever popular Easter favorite, The Easter Egg Roll. Either way, football’s days are numbered. Just waiting till the fat lady sings.
Stay save in Afghanistan.
From The EastWing, Trick or Treat, Flash Cards & Popcorn Balls, Attack On Halloween Candy, Attack On Football, When The Fat Lady Sings
I Wish You Well,