Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.
One of the best parts of the Springtime is Weather Springtime. Or maybe you call it Springtime Weather. Either way, it’s a hoot. Blizzard, Sunshine, Blizzard, Sunshine, Thunder Snow, Sunshine, Blizzard, Sunshine. All on a single Saturday afternoon in April. Weather Springtime.
A big brilliant ball of bright sunshine in your eyes. Sunshine Springtime. Warm and soft gentle breezes against you skin. Winds of Springtime.
Watching the world turn green. Seeing both the Robin and the worm. Picking the first dandelion. Waiting for the hummingbirds. Smelling the Night Springtime Air. Hearing the Bells of Springtime, the little night frogs. Yep,,,, the best part of Springtime is Weather Springtime.
Is it just me, or does anybody else think the world has gone crazy when such a topic as which toilet for a person to use dominates part of the news most every day. Whatever happened to common sense? What was wrong with the way this issue has been handled by society ever since time has been recorded when the words boys and girls first appeared on the doors? What really concerns me is where will all this craziness lead?
Can’t help but wonder if this whole thing is President Obama’s plan to create new jobs and stimulate the national economy. It doesn’t take too much thought to see many, many new jobs coming into existence. Just look at the amazing job growth when the TSA was created. I’m of the belief, this will employ many times more working class Americans providing a vital service to keep us all even safer in our toilets.
One such new job to be created will have to be the Pecker Checker. We gotta have ‘em, just gotta have ‘em, but who will pay the Pecker Checker? And how much money will a Pecker Checker make? Do we pay a Pecker Checker by the pecker? Still some issues to work out on this one, but we’ll get through ‘em.
One more question. How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker can check peckers? And will women have to wear a Vag Badge? Will we have to hire a Vag Badge Hag?
I see a ripe opportunity for the creation of a whole new enterprise. The new business, Political Correct Restroom Services Inc. will be able to contract for restroom security across the nation. Their marketing ad needs to be simple, easy to understand, and direct to the point. The company motto will simply says
“IF YOU GOTTA PEE, WE GOTTA SEE!
Sometimes it’s just better to think about things that used to be and wonder when will we ever learn.
There was a time when it took 3 minutes for the TV to warm up. Nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance. You’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. Your Mom wore nylons that came in 2 pieces. You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time. And you didn’t pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot. Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
It was when school teachers threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and they did. When a 57 Chevy was everyone’s dream car…to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady, including me and the She. When no one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked.
You could lie on your back in the grass with your friends and say things like ‘That cloud looks like a…’ It was playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game. Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger.
Now with all our progress, don’t you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today. It was a time when being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home.
Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
It was endless summers filled with bike rides, Hula Hoops, leap frog, going swimming, picking up pop bottles for refunds, and putting Kool-Aid powder with sugar directly on your tongue.
Didn’t that feel good, just to go back and say, ‘Yeah, I remember that’!
Now if you want to make someone’s day, send this to a friend who can still remember Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger, and Buttermilk, and Rin Tin Tin
Oh, by the way, how many of these do you remember?
Candy cigarettes, Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles. Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes. Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers. Newsreels before the movie. Telephone numbers with a word prefix…( Yukon 2-601). Party lines. Peashooters, hi-fi’s & 45 RPM records. 78 RPM records! Green Stamps. Mimeograph paper. The Fort Apache Play Set.
Do You Remember a Time When decisions were made by going ‘eeny-meeny-miney-moe,’. Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, ‘Do Over!’ ‘Race issue’ meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Catching The lighting bugs could Happily Occupy An Entire Evening,
It wasn’t odd to have two or three ‘Best Friends. Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot. Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute commercials for action figures.
It was a time when ‘Oly-oly-oxen-free’ made perfect sense. Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles. The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team,
War was a card game. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle,
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon of mass destruction.
If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived The Good Life.
Got an old friend who needs to smile? Pass these memories along, I Double-Dog-Dare-Ya!
From The EastWing, Weather Springtime, Some Things Don’t Seem Right, Some Things That Used To Be.
I Wish You Well,