Greetings to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.
Are we there yet? No, not traveling in a car with the kids, I’m talking about an end of of the lawn mowing season here at the EastWing. I started cutting grass before the 1st of May in the spring time. Last Thursday, once again the grass was cut. Some years we don’t get the rain needed for the grass to grow well into the autumn time of the year. In 2016 the rains came by.
I’m sure there’s a bunch of tree huggers out there ready to swear on a stack of bibles that grass growing in early October is absolute proof of global warming. After all, last week Hillary Clinton stated the hurricane that dominated the news for a week was not natural, it was man made, it was the result of climate change.
I’m thinking about joining the climate change group. ‘Cause they can say the most brainless things in the world and nobody holds them accountable. Calling a hurricane man made is a good example of what I’m talking about.
It’s the same thing in the winter. If it don’t snow, it’s climate change. If we get a blizzard, it’s climate change. Did you ever notice it’s kinda hard to please those folks. Too hot or too cold, too sunny or too cloudy, too calm or too windy, too wet or too dry, it’s always climate change that done us dirty.
Now when the President of the United States says climate change is the most pressing danger for the whole world, you know he’s on to something important, or else he’s a complete idiot. You’ll have to reach your own conclusions on the idiot level of the President’s statements.
There’s a thief at the EastWing Mister! The rascal’s been identified and his days are numbered, or maybe I should say his nights are numbered. A big fat opossum comes at night and eats the outside cat food. I know when he’s out there by Mr. Bentley sounding the alarm. The problem was I had no way to defend the home front from an attack of the opossums. My son Johnny came to the rescue and remedied that situation.
After receiving supervised training on the firing range (Me and Johnny shot cans behind the house), and classroom training in firearms safety, (Johnny said, “don’t point this gun at yourself, else you’ll shoot your eye out), I’m now armed with a flat black 22 caliber semi automatic action handgun, equipped with laser technology, and two 10 round clips. A war machine. A death star of opossums.
Best I can figure out, this 22 caliber handgun, equipped with laser technology, this semi automatic weapon of close in destruction, is kinda like a gun for dummies. Even after all my extensive firearms training, seems it all comes down to just one fact. With this gun, you point that little red dot where you want the bullet to go. You pull the trigger, and that little red dot, well, that little red is replaced by the bullet. End of Opossum Wars. Wherever you point that little red dot, so goes the bullet.
As I sit in the darkness fully capable of defending the EastWing, the home front, from any sneak opossum attack, the battle plan is flawless. Should opossums appear on the north deck, and they will. I follow the protocol identified in the Opossum Attack Manual listed under Code Name: OPOSSUM STEW
- Remove gun from holster
- Open north EastWing glass door (Important step here DO NOT SHOOT THRU GLASS DOOR)
- Push button to turn on laser
- Pull hammer of gun all the way back
- Point little red dot on head of opossum
- Push safety to off position
- Slowly squeeze trigger
- Red Dot on target is replaced by bullet
- VOP Night in the EastWing. (VOP=Victory Over Possums)
I love being Rambo of the EastWing.
From The EastWing, Cutting Grass, Hillary & The Hurricane, Joining Up, A Red Dot War, Rambo Rising
I Wish You Well,