Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the EastWing.
Remember just before Christmas, I told ya about the high hopes of producing pear trees in the EastWing. Well, I’ve encountered some issues which have thrown a major “Monkey Wrench” into the process of pear tree production. After months of providing a cold of winter season for the pear seeds, drying ‘em out an planting on the day after Christmas. I came home this past week to find a large amount of the soil from the newly planted pear seed pot on the EastWing floor. I could just tell from the looks of things that this was not the result of the pear seeds starting to sprout.
So I lined ‘em all up in the EastWing, that cold January afternoon. The time had come to find the culprit of such a dastardly deed. The Gray Lady James, Spike The Man Cat, Mr. Bentley and Sophia all stood in the lineup. Upon questioning, all had an airtight alibi, except Sophia.
Under intense integration, with the imminent threat of water boarding, being the tool that broke the case wide open. Sophia finally said “WHAT??? I had to go pee! My potty was all the way to the other end of the house then down to the basement. I had to go pee, and right there was all that dirt”.
Sophia said “And besides, what would ya rather have, a happy girl cat or a dumb ole pear tree?” Then she smiled. Sophia when she smiles. It melts your heart. It dawned on me, this was the first time Sophia was smiling since November 6th . I didn’t bring that up, didn’t want to lose the smile.
I just thanked God for giving me a happy Calico Girl, swept up the dirt from the oak floor, put it back into Sophia’s new EastWing potty and decided, yes, I’d rather have a happy girl cat than a dumb ole pear tree. But ya just gotta love Sophia when she smiles. Ya heard the old saying “ a smile goes a long ways” it does with Sophia. Damn Republican Cat.
I’m still getting inquiries into the availability of the services of Pit Bull Inc. Still the same status. Pit Bull Inc. is not for hire. I’ve even suggested to several people to establish their own Pit Bull Corp. Even told ‘em how to go about it. I hope some do. It’s worth the effort to do so.
American Staffordshire Terrier, that’s Mr. Bentleys official breed. Want to learn something new? Do a little research on “Pit Bull”. You’ll be surprised. For all the fear many have of the term Pit Bull, do the research, you’ll be surprised.
It’s an old, old blood line which has been selectively bread for illegal dog fighting. Bad people, not bad dogs. Again for those who tremble at the word Pit Bull, keep in mind one of the stars of the Little Rascals was a Pit Bull. Didn’t know that? Yep, I’m telling ya, Petey was a Pit Bull. ” Now Petey, from the Little Rascals, may be the most famous, but there are many lesser know Pit Bulls that have gained historical attention.
Helen Keller‘s dog, Sir Thomas, Buster Brown‘s dog, Tige, Horatio Jackson’s dog, Bud, President Theodore Roosevelt‘s Pit Bull terrier, Pit Bulls all.
To this day Pit Bulls continue to be heroes, Popsicle, a five-month-old puppy originally found nearly dead stuffed in a freezer, grew to become one of the nation’s most important police dogs. Norton, who was placed in the Purina Animal Hall of Fame after he rescued his owner from a severe reaction to a spider bite. Titan, who rescued his owner’s wife, who would have died from an aneurysm, and D-Boy, who took three bullets to save his family from an intruder with a gun.
Another thing I bet ya didn’t know about Pit Bulls, that English Bull Dog ya think is so ugly, it’s cute, it’s a Pit Bull too. So with that Mr. Bentley said to Sophia, “From now on please don’t call me a Pit Bull, you can call me an American Staffordshire Terrier”. Sophia looked the big dog straight in the eye and said “Ok, Mr. Pit Bull Bentley”. The Man Cat damn near fell off the table laughing as Sophia gave Mr. Bentley that one and only, “Sophia when she smiles”.
Reading the EastWing email is almost as much fun as telling the stories. It never ceases to amaze me that, for some people, what I’ve said and what they’ve read many times seem to have come from different parts of the universe. While taking into consideration the fact that not every word or phrase can be translated into different languages and always have an identical meaning. That being put aside. Many times it’s still a different world, between the said and the read, the said and the read, that is.
Sometimes I think it’s folks that want to jerk me around. Like a while back I said something about a pear seed being able to think, and expected someone to challenge that a pear seed could think. It was within that context I said yes pear trees can think, “maybe not like you, which is a good thing.” Well, it was that “which is a good thing” that heated up the glow plug for a lady accusing me of being condescending in my argument.
What was so strange with that email was the lady didn’t seem to realize that I was both sides of the argument. I don’t think ya can be condescending to yourself, but maybe I can. WHOH! a new skill. I’m sure I’ll exploit that in the future. Condescending on both sides of the rope. SWEET !!!
From time to time somebody in the email will feel duty-bound to admonish me for my lack of writing skills, to which I agree. Then they took it to another level and said it should be illegal for me to even touch a keyboard and have access to the internet, to which I disagreed. While adding salt to my wounds and rubbing in, they accused me, me of all people, of using poor grammar.
DUH! Poor grammar, Shewwwww. Such charges as improper use of pronouns, and I’m not even gona tell ya what was said about them verbs and adverbs and all that other stuff like that. I’ll just let it be said that none of it was complementary to my writing skills. Why that feller even accused me of making up words as I went along. Words nobody knew, or cared to know what they meant. I guess sometimes ya just gotta say what ya wanta say, and hope for the best.
Knowing full well I was dealing with “Word Nazis of the Fifth Order” who had gone off the deep end in their search for correctness in life, and all the while willing to sacrifice understandability for a textbook concept of words on paper. Or in my case, words on screens. I felt sorry for the poor souls who would choose a pattern of the written word not fully understood by all, in order to maintain correctness in the written word. The fact is, I was trained under a concept that if they don’t understand what you write, by your choice of words to speak your thoughts, you’ve wasted their time trying to tell ‘em your stories.
And so it was, after much thoughtful consideration for their personal feelings, I emailed the following: It appears to me life has gotten you folks down. You both worry far too much about things you cannot change. You both probably fight windmills in your mind. Yet maybe what you two really need in life is a kind pat on your backs. Consider this to be an EastWing pat on your backs. “There, Their, They’re.”
In the immortal words of Sheriff Buford T Justice, from Smokey & The Bandits, “Sum Bitch”.
Stay safe in Afghanistan.
From the EastWing, Sophia & The Pear Trees, Pit Bull History, Pit Bull Fame, Pit Bull Bentley, Word Nazis,
I Wish You Well,